Cat Deeley, 172 dancers and the cast of Divas Live! at the judges table. Kittens, it must be Las Vegas. In addition to Mary and Unca Nigel, we’re being joined by a stellar array of fabulous: Mia, Lil C, Shankdaddy and the one, the only, Ms. Debbie Allen. And noodles, whatever we do, we do NOT disappoint Miss Allen, understood? Mia may have tried to play the “I love cutting” queen diva dance bitch, but one pair of pursed lips and a raised eyebrow from Debbie and we know who needs to bow down, don’t we? She is fierce +. And since this season it doesn’t seem like there are any of her students in the competition, I expect to see much more of her on the judges panel, ya heard?
Where to even begin, darlings, when there was so, so much? Who did we love? Even if they subsequently got cut? Well, almost everyone, truth be told. So let’s start with who we hated and who’s gone (which are two separate yet overlapping categories but we’ll deal with them together),shall we?
Leaving Las Vegas
Kayla Costa – Turned out to be more of a hair flinger than I had thought. We don’t really hate her. Like Ms. Allen says, we were just a skoosh disappointed. I would not be mad to see her again.
Travis Prokop – Whose dad is no doubt somewhere still being adorable. I hope he enjoyed his trip to LV and getting his ass handed to him by actual good dancers.
Talia Ricards – Back to the dance team, honey. Dead hubby’s don’t get you anywhere on this show. Believe that. You know who else wound up not being able to lean on her sob story?
Gabi Rojas – Debbie said a mouthful, didn’t she darlings? This girl just turned out to be all sizzle and no steak. And I hated that she outlasted Natalie. How is it that this girl, who not only bombed Sonya’s contemporary piece, but also couldn’t even master a NappyTab hip hop, got to dance for her life and keep going all the way through Mia’s contemporary round while Natalie gets cut outright after Sonya’s piece? Yeah, I am not getting that at all. I blame Katee. As for this girl, well, if you can’t pick up choreography, you can’t be a professional dancer, no? But thank you for playing.
Natalie – Kittens, I’m heart broken to lose this one again. And in such a fashion. And after she and Brandon absolutely destroyed Sonya’s choreo during rehearsals. So, I have to say that I blame Bow Wow Wow just a little bit for what happened. You do not single those two out to come and perform for the entire group during the rehearsals, do you? I mean darlings, they left it all on the prep room floor and then they didn’t even dance together during the audition rounds, so they both wound up flat and not giving their best performances. No excuses, though. Natalie straight up didn’t bring it in Sonya’s contemporary piece. But how could the judges cut her because of one bad round? And then the very next second, keep Gabi after two abysmal performances in hip hop and jazz? I call huge bullshit. Darlings, I smell a large, producer manipulated rat. Katee fat face still ruins everything.
Ariel – She didn’t knock me out in her first audition with Chbeeb and she didn’t knock me out tonight either. Cute girl though. I hope he is tapping that correctly.
Nabuya – I kept worrying about him and worrying about him and he kept pulling it out round after round. Finally felled by Mia’s choreography. How many dancers have faced the same fate? I do hope he comes back next year because he really did show surprising grace in the ballroom round. Look at how many times folks like Twitch and Hawk tried out. I’d love to see him do the same.
Silky Smooth – Y’all, that group dance was abysmal. They looked like fifth graders in afterschool dance club. And Silky, for all his charisma, just did not bring it like it should be broughten in that solo. After all the tapper-mania in the early rounds, is there even one left in top 16 boys or girls? It’s tragic. Silky’s gone, along with . . .
Bianca Revels – And I felt so badly for her, kittens, until she whipped out the stank attitude. Listen, she wasn’t terrible in Tasty’s Westside Story piece. I thought she brought enough to hang around for the final judgment, but the panel obviously disagreed. I understand that she was salty, but to go off on the rant about how they lost such a good thing and how she’d never be back after talking all that yang about this show being her destiny? Yeah, that is not a good look, kiddies. She lost a little shine with that exit.
Side Note: My favorite line of the night just might have been this one by Lil C, “It’s not working and you will just not be advancing in this competition.” I plan to find a way to use it at the earliest opportunity. And then he went on to tell someone that they shouldn’t have went and done something. Oh, Lil C. Don’t ever change.
Side note to the side note: Being a good dancer requires a very different skill set than being a good choreographer. Anyone who doubts this should just compare every other group to the "Nerdography" group with Ryan Kasprzak and see what a difference having access to an actual choreographer makes. Also, how much did I love Shankman nailing that one group for serving up “Convention 101” choreography? So, so much!
Megan Kinney – Oh, hair flippers. When will they ever learn? She was pitiful in that Mia piece and Nigel just kept her around to further fuck with Caitlin’s head. But justice prevails, noodles, and Megan shuffles off home to hair flip another day.
Lots of other people went home, too, but they made no impression. So onward and upward. Who did we love? Who’s still around? Well, those are two separate questions again, no? But we’ll deal with both below.
Viva Las Vegas
Brandon Bryant – Who alternately got the Will over-pimping and the Danny Tidwell Memorial “Yes, Your Shit Does, In Fact, Stink” treatment all in one night. Poor lamb. I hope he doesn’t let the judges break him down because he is fierce on a level that few others in this competition could even dream of.
Alex Wong – Is one of the ones who could give Brandon a run for his money. Agreed? Kiddies, was it really just yesterday that I was labeling this kid as a dancer who was perhaps too timid, who needed to let go more? I was smoking that monkey crack, darlings. This kid is the truth. His solo blew my whole entire mind. He is so my new dance boyfriend. I am loving on Alex and his ridiculously hot body. Please, show, can I have some more?
Tony Bellisimo – Cat and the show got me. They got me. Cat coaxing a smile out of a distraught Tony while he waited to try Mia’s choreo again? The on stage break down which caused the judges to break down? Laughter through tears as he flexed for Cat and gave the bicep a kiss? This kid is magic, what? I am in his thrall. Entirely.
Evan “Mini-Gene Kasprzak – Mini-Gene brought it in every single style. Hip hop? Check. Ballroom? Check. Jazz? Check. The single best group dance of the night? Check. The Mia piece? What? He brought it hard, darlings. And needless to say, he and his brother tore up that Tasty Broadway piece. I will be heartbroken, heartbroken if this kid does not make top 20. Yep, I’m tempting the reality TV gods. And so soon after Adam Lambert, too. I figure I’m due.
Ryan Kasprzak – He really surprised me tonight. I was moved by his dancing in that Mia piece. And his choreo for Nerdography? Genius. Dude has crazy talent. Still and all, I’d give him up to get Evan. They are setting them up for a final two Sophie’s Choice and I am going to hate every minute of it.
Phillip Chbeeb, Asuka and Ricky Sun – All three were 31 flavors, kittens. Give it up for returning contestants. Look at all the learning and the growing. That is what I absolutely love about this show. The kids can take a critique and use it to become better dancers. It helps that the judges can actually give relevant and useful critiques. Snaps to all three.
Caitlin Kinney – She’s had a rough road, noodles. No lie. But I’m with Mary. I see something in this girl. She has a world of potential and she seems like she really wants this. She’s on fire and that is worth so much on a show like this one. And she has a little bit of that stardust. I’m hoping that if she squeaks into the top 10 girls, she can get a nice growth arc rolling. And she's still miles better than her sister. Trust.
There were a few others that made an impression . . . Antonio? The black kid with the earrings and vaguely foreign accent? Made of awesome. Jeannette, the little salsa girl? Fiery. Priscilla? I think she was the naughty ballerina, not the broke down ballerina, no? At any rate, we like, noodles. But it’s late, and I’m all tangled up in Debbie’s weave. I’m going to go to sleep and have nightmares about Tasty and seriously, who turned his bitch needle up too high? He really needs to take a valium.
Tomorrow, our top 20 will be revealed. On the guys side, if I don’t get Brandon, Chbeeb, Alex, Tony and Evan, I will be unhappy. For our ladies, well, I’m still hot over losing Natalie, but I expect to see Caitlin, Asuka . . . and that’s about all I can recall. Another boys year, then? Sabra’s looking mighty lonely out there holding it down for the girls.
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