SYTYCD S5 Finals Ep8 Same As It Ever Was

So, no surprises. America did not find a way to foil the producer’s nefarious plans to drop Karla and Vitolio like bad habits. Kittens, it’s a sad day when the invited special guest performers are a million times more entertaining than the kids who are starring on this show. But kudos to Simon Fuller and Co. for landing Desmond Richardson and Patricia Hachey and the original American Idol and eternal keeper of the EEEEeeeeeee Miss Kelly Clarkson. Righteous! And they did not disappoint, right? That pas de deux was mesmerizing and the gran plies in second (and en pointe in the case of Ms. Hachey)? What? That was beyond ridiculous. Miss Clarkson? Forget about it. She is more adorable than a box of kittens. And I love the little shimmy shake on the “I don’t come cheap” line. So, so cute. And she consistently resists attempts by the industry (read: the undead husk of Clive Davis) to become a skinny bobble head.

Other thoughts on the show? Well, darlings, Cat Deeley’s decision to forego the ministrations of the crack hos in wardrobe and the trannys in hair and make up has in general paid off in spades, but last night was something of a misstep. Her hair looked like she’d just had some great sex on the couch in her dressing room which is great for her but sad for the hair. As for the dress, well in addition to the fact that it was made from the Studio 57 disco ball, I feared that we were about to learn more about Cat Deeley’s hooha than we ever needed to know. But everyone has their off days, and her batting average is still so far above the crack hos that they can’t even count that high.

As for the B3, well, I was disappointed by not surprised, kiddies. They set out to get Karla and Vitolio and they got them. I have to sadly admit that Kupono is not Mark 2.0 and Kayla is not Chelsea. I have been trying to fall in love with the Hawaii boy and the girl with the lovely feet, but it’s just not the same. Kayla’s bitch baby routine each time she hits B3 is not cute and it certainly doesn’t help that her solos make her out to be the kind of hair flinging nightmare I originally feared upon first catching a glimpse of her in the audition rounds. And I know six year olds who have better chenais turns than Kupono, kittens. Tragic. At least the Chbeeb and Jeanine hit B3. Their solos were made of win, especially Jeanine who displayed flawless technique and center from heaven. I have been so not knowing about that one. And while the Chbeeb’s solo was fantastic, he can still only do hip hop well. If he does make top 10, he will be a drag on his partners. Trust. I foresee many, many work arounds for the choreographers until he goes home. The Twitch/Katee door routine times a million.

The primary saving grace of last night’s show was that I got to see it live and in person from CBS Television City, what? That’s right, noodles! Your loyal blogger was in the house. And not only did I see the results show, they also did some pre-taping for the 100th episode special which I will write about anon, so if you don’t like spoilers, then please don’t read my next post. But you know you want to read it because it is going to be awesome. It’s a Katie Holmes free zone, I promise.