Well, well, well. Seems we like to keep ‘em guessing, don’t we America? Kayla and Kupono chilling in the safety pit while Melissa and Ade dance for their lives? Jigga what? Randi and Evan put their tiny boots all up in the Chbeeb’s ass and send him and Jeanine on a trip to the abyss? Jigga who? Y’all don’t play. You’re getting the keys to the kingdom next week, darlings, and I’m sure you got the judges skeerid of you.
Take away Kelly Rowland and her tired weave and the unforgivable lack of a dance guest, and you have a wholly satisfying results show, no? There was a shake up in the pecking order among the couples; the B3 kids finally, finally served in their “dance for your life” solos; and more or less the right dancers made it to the top 10. I could recap the solos, but they are like a half second long and all you really need to know is that Melissa was sublime; Caitlin was cute and showed off gorgeous technique; Jeanine seemed nervous and off her game and therefore had a few wobbles falling out of turns and such but still managed to be lovely and vulnerable; Chbeeb showed again that he is a great popper and made me sad all over that he never could do anything else; like his partner, Ade was sublime; and Jason was shirtless which is all to the good because the solo was frantic and desperate again. Most importantly, we got our top 10 noodles. Let’s run them down in the order that I think they will go home!
Top 5 Boys
5. Jason – He has yet to pop. He seems to have lovely technique and he is very pretty, but he lacks . . . something. A special quality. And that has led his dancing to be competent but not magnificent. And it has led the show to downplay his presence. I feel like I know nothing about him. We might as well be going into top 20 week with him just another face in the crowd from Vegas. Pretty can sometimes take you far, and if he gets the right partner, he could sneak through top 10 week. But my money is on him to go home first.
4. Kupono – He’s quirky and the Jasmine Trias rule states that one should never underestimate the Hawaii voting bloc. They are powerhouses, kiddies. That said, his solos have been atrocious and there are times where I want more from him technique wise. More flexibility in his kicks, more amplitude in his leaps, a more finished quality to his movement, to his arms, stronger core, better center. He is limited as a dancer and I think as soon as he gets farther from his comfort zone than he’s been of late (See: his hip hop routine) that will show and he’ll go home.
3. Ade – Let me be clear that I don’t believe Ade is the number 3 guy left in the competition. However, I got burned by Evan’s fan base tonight, so I will give them their due. As we saw with the Hunchback, a cute face and a large and vocal tween fan base can trump a better dancer. (Still miss you, Pasha!) Ade is lovely, but as I was saying yesterday, kittens, he lacks polish. In a couple of years, I believe he will be a beast. Now he’s kind of raw. You can tell he’s still forming who he’ll be as a dancer and it’s been a joy to watch, no? And if he starts to have some break out performances, I think he could leapfrog into the top 4. As it stands now, I think he’ll be the shocking top 6 bootee.
2. Evan – He has underperformed since about Top 16, but I still think Mini-Gene has enough juice to make it all the way to top 4 now that he’s away from the clutches of the judges. He could definitely be tripped up by the height differential and I’m kind of scratching my head at how the partnering is going to work with any other girl save Randi (who I predict will be first girl out). If he winds up in a Ricky/Ashley Tango situation, he could be gone as early this week. I mean, seriously, kittens, can you see him paired up with Kayla? The mind reels. But if the pairings are favorable and the dance styles are kind, he could definitely make it all the way to the finale.
1. Brandon – He was the number one boy last season and he wasn't even on the show. And the bitch hasn’t given an inch. He’s ridiculously talented. He’s versatile. He has a body that will not stop. He’s got a sunny smile and an awesome, funny personality. This kid’s got it all working. I don’t know if he’ll win, but I think he’s the only boy that has a legitimate shot.
Top 5 Girls
5. Randi – Had they hit B3, I thought she should’ve gone this week. Fat face has done far better in this competition than I ever thought she would, but she is just straight up outclassed by perhaps the strongest ladies top 5 in the history of the show. She doesn’t have Melissa’s technique. She can’t match Kayla’s lines, legs, and feet. She’s not the all around dancer that Jeanine is. And the gods all know that she will never be half as all around fierce as Janette even on her best day. I don’t hate Randi, but she is running with the thoroughbreds here and she just doesn’t measure up.
4. Kayla – She has the stench of a failed chosen one like Mischa Chan and Kherington before her. And I think she’s secretly stank. For real. There’s something about her, noodles, that just doesn’t sit right with me. I find her an empty vessel. She’s pretty enough. She has fantastic technique, exquisite lines, good musicality. And yet the whole is so much less than the sum of its parts. When you add her all up, you should get a super competitor, but really, she’s just a girl with a ton of potential. I wish I could see her with more years and wisdom and maturity under her belt. For now, she’s kind of a lightweight.
3. Jeanine – This girl will be killed by lack of exposure. If she had caught some PA’s fancy earlier in the season. If she’d had a better back story, one that could’ve stacked up against untrained salsa dancer and Oldest! Contestant! In the competition! Ever! If she’d lucked into a better partner in the early rounds. If wishes were horses, right? Truth is, none of that happened for Jeanine, and while she is a truly special dancer, I just don’t think there is enough time or show left for her to overtake the final two. Maybe if she pulls Ade/Brandon in successive weeks and gets two utterly stellar routines while the other girls falter. But as it now stands, I expect her to bow out in third place amongst the ladies, which will be a very respectable showing for a contestant who had less than a minute’s worth of screen time going into the top 20.
2. Melissa – The naughty ballerina is on track to making top 4 and who would’ve thunk it? I don’t think she’ll win. Too many tweens in the voting public and to them she’s ancient and her style is one that doesn’t hold much cache. But her technique is just too good to go out much earlier than top 4. She’s proven to be a chameleon able to pick up most of the styles, if not with Janette’s facility. And she’s a great story. 29 is not old in the real world, but in the dance world, it’s practically ancient. To have her come top 4 would be quite a feel good tale for the season, darlings, and it would also set up Mini-Gene’s brother for his run in S6. Think like a Simon, noodles. Always two steps ahead.
1. Janette – She could become the second female winner of this show. Easily. This one is a firecracker. And I hate to toot my own horn, kittens, except for how that’s totally one of my favorite things to do. So let’s look back at what I said about one Miss Manrara in my top 20 preview post:
Janette Manrara – The stars are aligned for this firecracker. She’s sassy; she’s beautiful; and she can dance her ass off. And if, like me, you troll the interwebs looking for film of these kids, then you know, as I do darlings, that this girl is serious. She’s much more than just a salsa specialist. If Nigel pushes hard this year for a girl winner (which I expect him to do) then this girl rises to the top of my list to take it all. She seems like she has the whole package.
So it was written. So it shall be, kittens. We’ll see if I’m right starting next week.
Take away Kelly Rowland and her tired weave and the unforgivable lack of a dance guest, and you have a wholly satisfying results show, no? There was a shake up in the pecking order among the couples; the B3 kids finally, finally served in their “dance for your life” solos; and more or less the right dancers made it to the top 10. I could recap the solos, but they are like a half second long and all you really need to know is that Melissa was sublime; Caitlin was cute and showed off gorgeous technique; Jeanine seemed nervous and off her game and therefore had a few wobbles falling out of turns and such but still managed to be lovely and vulnerable; Chbeeb showed again that he is a great popper and made me sad all over that he never could do anything else; like his partner, Ade was sublime; and Jason was shirtless which is all to the good because the solo was frantic and desperate again. Most importantly, we got our top 10 noodles. Let’s run them down in the order that I think they will go home!
Top 5 Boys
5. Jason – He has yet to pop. He seems to have lovely technique and he is very pretty, but he lacks . . . something. A special quality. And that has led his dancing to be competent but not magnificent. And it has led the show to downplay his presence. I feel like I know nothing about him. We might as well be going into top 20 week with him just another face in the crowd from Vegas. Pretty can sometimes take you far, and if he gets the right partner, he could sneak through top 10 week. But my money is on him to go home first.
4. Kupono – He’s quirky and the Jasmine Trias rule states that one should never underestimate the Hawaii voting bloc. They are powerhouses, kiddies. That said, his solos have been atrocious and there are times where I want more from him technique wise. More flexibility in his kicks, more amplitude in his leaps, a more finished quality to his movement, to his arms, stronger core, better center. He is limited as a dancer and I think as soon as he gets farther from his comfort zone than he’s been of late (See: his hip hop routine) that will show and he’ll go home.
3. Ade – Let me be clear that I don’t believe Ade is the number 3 guy left in the competition. However, I got burned by Evan’s fan base tonight, so I will give them their due. As we saw with the Hunchback, a cute face and a large and vocal tween fan base can trump a better dancer. (Still miss you, Pasha!) Ade is lovely, but as I was saying yesterday, kittens, he lacks polish. In a couple of years, I believe he will be a beast. Now he’s kind of raw. You can tell he’s still forming who he’ll be as a dancer and it’s been a joy to watch, no? And if he starts to have some break out performances, I think he could leapfrog into the top 4. As it stands now, I think he’ll be the shocking top 6 bootee.
2. Evan – He has underperformed since about Top 16, but I still think Mini-Gene has enough juice to make it all the way to top 4 now that he’s away from the clutches of the judges. He could definitely be tripped up by the height differential and I’m kind of scratching my head at how the partnering is going to work with any other girl save Randi (who I predict will be first girl out). If he winds up in a Ricky/Ashley Tango situation, he could be gone as early this week. I mean, seriously, kittens, can you see him paired up with Kayla? The mind reels. But if the pairings are favorable and the dance styles are kind, he could definitely make it all the way to the finale.
1. Brandon – He was the number one boy last season and he wasn't even on the show. And the bitch hasn’t given an inch. He’s ridiculously talented. He’s versatile. He has a body that will not stop. He’s got a sunny smile and an awesome, funny personality. This kid’s got it all working. I don’t know if he’ll win, but I think he’s the only boy that has a legitimate shot.
Top 5 Girls
5. Randi – Had they hit B3, I thought she should’ve gone this week. Fat face has done far better in this competition than I ever thought she would, but she is just straight up outclassed by perhaps the strongest ladies top 5 in the history of the show. She doesn’t have Melissa’s technique. She can’t match Kayla’s lines, legs, and feet. She’s not the all around dancer that Jeanine is. And the gods all know that she will never be half as all around fierce as Janette even on her best day. I don’t hate Randi, but she is running with the thoroughbreds here and she just doesn’t measure up.
4. Kayla – She has the stench of a failed chosen one like Mischa Chan and Kherington before her. And I think she’s secretly stank. For real. There’s something about her, noodles, that just doesn’t sit right with me. I find her an empty vessel. She’s pretty enough. She has fantastic technique, exquisite lines, good musicality. And yet the whole is so much less than the sum of its parts. When you add her all up, you should get a super competitor, but really, she’s just a girl with a ton of potential. I wish I could see her with more years and wisdom and maturity under her belt. For now, she’s kind of a lightweight.
3. Jeanine – This girl will be killed by lack of exposure. If she had caught some PA’s fancy earlier in the season. If she’d had a better back story, one that could’ve stacked up against untrained salsa dancer and Oldest! Contestant! In the competition! Ever! If she’d lucked into a better partner in the early rounds. If wishes were horses, right? Truth is, none of that happened for Jeanine, and while she is a truly special dancer, I just don’t think there is enough time or show left for her to overtake the final two. Maybe if she pulls Ade/Brandon in successive weeks and gets two utterly stellar routines while the other girls falter. But as it now stands, I expect her to bow out in third place amongst the ladies, which will be a very respectable showing for a contestant who had less than a minute’s worth of screen time going into the top 20.
2. Melissa – The naughty ballerina is on track to making top 4 and who would’ve thunk it? I don’t think she’ll win. Too many tweens in the voting public and to them she’s ancient and her style is one that doesn’t hold much cache. But her technique is just too good to go out much earlier than top 4. She’s proven to be a chameleon able to pick up most of the styles, if not with Janette’s facility. And she’s a great story. 29 is not old in the real world, but in the dance world, it’s practically ancient. To have her come top 4 would be quite a feel good tale for the season, darlings, and it would also set up Mini-Gene’s brother for his run in S6. Think like a Simon, noodles. Always two steps ahead.
1. Janette – She could become the second female winner of this show. Easily. This one is a firecracker. And I hate to toot my own horn, kittens, except for how that’s totally one of my favorite things to do. So let’s look back at what I said about one Miss Manrara in my top 20 preview post:
Janette Manrara – The stars are aligned for this firecracker. She’s sassy; she’s beautiful; and she can dance her ass off. And if, like me, you troll the interwebs looking for film of these kids, then you know, as I do darlings, that this girl is serious. She’s much more than just a salsa specialist. If Nigel pushes hard this year for a girl winner (which I expect him to do) then this girl rises to the top of my list to take it all. She seems like she has the whole package.
So it was written. So it shall be, kittens. We’ll see if I’m right starting next week.
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