It never fails, noodles. When Cat looks good, the show looks good. And Ms. Deeley was looking lovely in her blue frock last night, thus the kids for the most part turned it out. Everyone had at least one good to great dance, and the top three couples were all two for two. Lots of killer and little filler in this show, so let’s continue that trend in this here recap, shall we?
Once and Again
Ellenore/Ryan
Lindy Hop/Carla Heiney (I’ve Got to Be a Rug Cutter/Boilermaker Jazz Band) - These two did not take a wrong step last night. Lindy Hop is not my favorite dance for this show. It’s so fast, so intricate, so demanding, that the kids always seem to wind up looking a little sloppy. Very difficult to master so quickly, I would imagine. They did really, really well with all the insane lifts and throws. The actual dancing and connecting steps was done with great energy and verve, although to me it looked a little sloppy in places. But overall, they charmed. I adored the costumes until Ellenore started really twirling around and her skirt swirled up to reveal enormous, white granny panties (which would make an unfortunate return in Noelle/Russell’s contemporary routine). Oh, crack whores. They had a pretty good run last night, actually. But it sure started of rocky, kiddies. Anyway, this was a fun, forgettable first dance. Ellenore is as cute as a basketful of puppies.
Broadway/Spencer Liff (Razzle Dazzle/Chicago Cast Recording) – Spencer Liff is schooling Tasty on how Broadway should be done! I loved this piece more than my new purple pumps. Ellenore is amazing, kittens. I'm totally with Shankdaddy. When she whipped that leg down into a perfectly turned out first position? What? Ryan was really good here, too. He totally got the character and his technique was very, very solid. This was extremely stylized movement and he nailed it. Well done, all the way round. These two were my top couple of the night by a pretty wide margin.
Jakob/Ashleigh
Family, let me take a minute to sincerely give props to the Fug Princess. FP came to work last night. I don’t think she can ever make me fall in love with her, but credit where credit is due. She turned it out.
Lyrical Jazz/Sonya (Time Flies/Lykke Li) – Jakob is just perfection, darlings. From the leap in second to the exquisite toe point to the beautiful lifts, the extension, the ridiculous control. He’s heaven. And FP was more beautiful here than I’ve seen her in the past. Some of those positions in the lifts were quite difficult to hold. And her toe point was impressive. There was one section where she was in a hold, legs around Jakob’s waist and she did a back bend to the floor and a walk over out of the lift that was so graceful and effortless. They were really gorgeous, despite the tight purple pants.
Cha Cha/Jean Marc and France (Cha Cha Heels [Ralph Rosario Radio Edit] Rosabel feat. Jeanie Tracy) – Fug Princess owned this piece. She was gorgeous from beginning to end. Really down into the floor, great feet and ankles. The hips were sexy and sensual. She even managed to tone down the crazy ballroom faces about a million degrees from where they were during her first audition round. Remember, when she resembled Jim Carrey in The Mask? Aww, kittens. So much learning, so much growing. And she really was a help to Jakob here. He was good, but there was definitely a little contemporary creep happening. Maybe a little bit more down into the floor. Pulling up is such a hard habit for classically trained dancers to break. But he totally had the sexy swagger, which I worried a little bit about for him. He was hot and manly and . . . yeah, I liked it. Strangé, kids. You worked it out.
One Part Be My Lover, One Part Go Away
Kathryn/Legacy
Legacy should be shirtless all the time. He was born to be nekkid, noodles. Maybe bare chested-ness would have helped in the Viennese Waltz because it was kind of tired.
Jazz/Sonya (So Deep/Hot Chip) – Shirtless Legacy. Oh, yeah, and also some other stuff happened which was all kinds of fabulous. Kathryn and her legs that go on forever and some pretty nifty incorporation of Legacy’s B-Boy moves into this dance, and damn that man is fine. This was a sexy little number right here. These two have mad chemistry. I totally bought that they were lustily enamored of each other and couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. And the dancing was first rate. Unca Nigel pointed out the fantastic musicality, really from the pair of them. And I didn’t know that Kathryn could be such an athletic, almost muscular kind of dancer. This piece rocked.
Viennese Waltz/Jean Marc and France (Your Guardian Angel/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) – Jean Marc frustrates me so, noodles! You just never know when is the next time you’ll get a Dances with Disabled Daughters out of him. Look, kiddies, we all know this was distinctly not good. Legacy’s carriage was atrocious. His shoulders were tight and up around his ears. The posture was all wrong. The feet were a horror show. There was no flow across the floor. Yuck. Now I will picture him shirtless to wipe the bad taste away. Ahhhh. All better. Kathryn gave it the old college try and many of her lines were spectacular, but Legacy . . . y’all he was just bad. I'm glad that he was moved by his own performance, but keep those tears and give me some good dancing.
Noelle/Russell
Darlings, I expect Russell to get through even if he and Noelle find their way to B3 again, and when that happens, I expect him to get a great partner. We’ll get to my longed for Top 10 week pairings anon. Just wanted to put that out there in the universe and let it marinate.
Samba/Tony and Melanie (Hips Don’t Lie/Shakira) – Was it only three seasons ago that the show was giving us Danny/Lacey choreographed by Dmitri in the best samba of all time? Kittens, I weep for days gone by. That was a hot mess up there on that stage. Noelle developed a serious case of white girl. So stiff. So little hip action. So lost and the very antithesis of sexy. Russell was better, but it really was kind of overall bad. I loved, as usual, Mary calling out all the technical aspects of the dance and giving Tony and Melanie props for their fancy choreo. Too bad these two couldn’t live up to it.
Contemporary/Tyce (A Case of You/Diana Krall) – Tasty had me with the song before the kids even danced a step. I frikkin’ love this song, kittens. As for the dance, well, that had me with that little bit of rehearsal footage. And the full on performance was sublime. Russell is just divine, y’all. The entire dance he had an airy quality to his leaps and spins and he was grounded and strong in his transition moves and in the lifts. I have to take a moment to lust appreciate. The kid is an artist. And he and Noelle finally, finally felt connected to each other, to the dance, to the music. Listen, Noelle is never gonna set the world on fire as a dancer. She doesn’t have that thing that makes you pay attention to her. But she’s a darn fine little dancer. Kind of like Randee fat face from last season. Normally, she’s a distraction from the glory that is Russell in every routine. But this time, she managed to be a complement. Some lovely, grounded work from her. This might not have been the best piece of the night, but it was my favorite. I felt it.
One Way Ticket to Loserville
Nathan/Mollee
Family, I refuse with the Can Can. I hope you understand. If you don’t, there are tons of other blogs out there. My blog is concerned with serious efforts at dancing, not kids playing around in their church rec room, no matter how many pirouettes a la seconde they can do. Also, is Lil Miss New Booty hurt? Suck it up, Soldier. Donyelle’s whole toe was falling off. By the end of S2, Natalie was practically wearing an orthopedic brace. Whippersnappers. Dancer used to be made of sterner stuff in my day.
Hip Hop/Jamal Sims (Ring-A-Ling/Black Eyed Peas) – Jamal Sims is on notice. There was much buzz and rejoicing out in the SYTYCD nation when it was announced that this fool would be joining the US version of this show. So far, to say he’s under whelmed would be a humongous understatement. The sad part, noodles, is that Nathan was tearing it up in that sorry ass number. He murdered that choreography. That MJ spin all up on his toes? That shit is not even possible. And it didn’t even matter. I hated every second of that routine. The gimmicky choreography just stuck in my craw. And the obnoxious twit sucked like a Hoover. Why won’t she go home?
Karen/Victor
AKA Cannon fodder. AKA redshirts. AKA sacrificial lambs. Take your pick, darlings. What I’m saying is, I fully expect these two to go home tonight.
Argentine Tango/Tony and Melanie (Montserrat/Orquesta del Plata) – Karen served in that piece. She was fierce. Beautiful legs. Beautiful lines. Intensity and passion. Victor looked like he needed to use the potty. Y’all, the posture. It killed me. Why was he so hunched over like that with his booty all poked out? Eewww. The choreography was nice, not as great but very good, and the look was killer. Victor just straight up didn’t deliver. So disappointing, kiddies.
Hip Hop/LaurieAnn (Moving Mountains/Usher) – BoomKat spooned up a heaping helping of crap right here. That was a horrible routine. Even if Victor and Karen had danced it flawlessly, the routine would’ve been pretty terrible. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t even dance it well. They were off the whole time – out of synch with each other; out of time with the music; just off. But Victor, once again, was egregiously bad. He was so, so bad. I could barely concentrate on Karen, who I think was doing a little bit better, because he completely pulled my focus with his loose, lackadaisical, off tempo dancing. Bleagh, I hated it.
The Lonliest Number
I fully expect to find Victor and Karen and Mollee and Nathan as two of our three B3 couples. The third denizen is a toss up between Kathryn/Legacy and Noelle/Russell. I think Noelle/Russell are slightly more likely to end up B3 because America is a sucker for crocodile tears . . . and nekkid hotties. Out of that B3, y’all know that the Tween Terrors would be my pick to go home, but I find it hard to imagine how Victor and Karen escape the boot again. Nigel and Shankdaddy might, just might, throw Noelle off in lieu of Karen because they see the start thing with her.
Who’s Got Next?
OK, have I said too much? Never, darlings. We are all family here. So here's who I'd like to see as new partners once top 10 week rolls around, assuming Victor and Karen get the boot:
Jakob/Ellenore: Heaven. Please put them together and give them a good Wade Jazz.
Russell/Kathryn: After Ellenore, she's the next strongest girl. I think they could do very well together. Maybe bring Maria Torres back and do another latin jazz, something like what Neil/Lacey got once upon a time. They could also do well with Broadway.
Legacy/Mollee: I don't want to see her in anything, but if she does scrape through, these two might actually do well together. Legacy is the oldest competitor left in the competition and he doesn't seem the goofy, laugh a minute type. He might provide her a little heft. That said, I want this trick to go home anyway, so I'd love it if they got put together and given something like the Quickstep.
Ryan/Noelle: Just because they would never put Ryan together with FP and Ryan is a full grown man. Putting him together with Mollee just would not work on any level. Creepy. And I want Kathryn and Ellenore for others, so give him Noelle. She's a serviceable partner, nothing special, but she won't bring him down. He's a strong partner, so maybe they give her a chance to redeem herself with a latin dance with someone who actually knows what he's doing.
Nathan/FP: By default. I think this would be a horrible pairing. Nathan Ellenore would serve him much better. But I'm over him and want him to go home, thus, this pairing will do just fine. What would they do? Who cares? Give them Bollywood or some other non-dance, since that's all he seems to pull.
Also, Idol!!!!! I hated seeing Judge #4 in the chair that she usurped from Paula, but dammit if they haven't sucked me back in already. Idol!!!
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