Remember how excited I was for Motown Night, kittens, even though I knew deep down it would suck? Yeah, I feel no such thing for Disco Night. You know it's going to suck. I know it's going to suck. And yet, it really doesn't have to, does it? Even more so than with Motown, disco offers up the goods that fit perfectly with this type of show. I mean, Motown songs require soul and actual singing talent beyond what most of these kids bring to the table. But disco? This was the beginning of not really needing to sing well to become a superstar. Not to take away anything from the Donna Summers and Gloria Gaynors of the world. Many, many disco classics are vocally tremendous. Just ask Gloria Estefan and/or Haley Scarnato. But any good karaoke denizen knows that even that meek secretary in cubicle four at the office can do a mean We Are Family or Best Disco in Town.
The thing that makes disco great, noodles, is the thing that most of these kids lack, or if they ever had it, the show has leeched it out of them in its relentless effort to get these kids into their boxes. Abandon. Great disco needs total abandon. No self consciousness. No guilt. Just giving in completely to the good times and reveling in the music and the moment. Which is why Adam is going to blow the doors off, Allison and Kris have a chance to be great, and everyone else will suck. But anyway, kiddies, it's anon now and here's what I hope our merry band will sing in a couple of hours.
Adam Lambert
Anything. Everything. Can we just have a whole evening of Adam Does Disco with special guest appearances by Manic Panic and the suddenly sexy Kris Allen? No? OK, then. I'll limit myself to a top three:
Take Your Time (Do It Right) - Sexy. Sexy. Dead sexy. Adam could tear this jam up. And I would love to hear him get all nasally up in his nasal on the chorus to this song.
Don't Leave Me This Way - Can you imagine our little alien sex god ripping into the chorus of this song? Whoo. I need a cigarette, kiddies. And I think he'd play around with the melody in interesting ways. I can see him doing terrible, unexpected things to this song and I would eat it up with a spoon.
Shake Your Body Down to the Ground - I know we've already had MJ night, but this is Jackson 5. Totally different vibe. And this song is a funky, funky classic. Drunk chair dancing by Paula would be ensured (not that this will be a worry. It will happen).
Allison Iraheta
Manic Panic wasn't even an ova in her mama's uterus when disco ruled the world, but she has such an old soul feel to her that I think she could do really,really well on disco night. She has that abandon thing when she sings (although she lacks it utterly when she talks, no?) and she's such a pro as a performer. She also has motivation because she needs a comeback after last week's debacle, so I expect her to bring it. Perhaps with one of the following:
Last Dance - What I love about this song for our little chola is that it provides little opportunity for poor pronunciation or dropping lyrics, two bad habitsthat she needs to break in the worst possible way. She could smooth it out on the slow part and then kick it up for the toe-tapping finale and there's verylittle chance of a repeat of the sad, sad group sing moment from last week where she just went ahead and made up some lyrics that Giorgio Moroder never dreamed of.
Knock On Wood - One of life's perfect songs, kittens. And I don't think there's a better song for her voice in all of disco-dom. She'd kill with this.
I Love the Nightlife - See what I just said above? Yeah, same thing here. Bonus points if she does the second verse rather than the first and sings the "Maybe that'll make a man outta you" line right to the Dawg. Sweet.
Kris Allen
Love Train - OK, so it's a little gloopy, but Kris is a little gloopy, no? And I think he'd be so cute singing this song. The entire audience might go into sugar shock.
What A Fool Believes - I always love this fool unleashing a little blue eyed soul, kiddies, and nobody does that better than Michael McDonald. I just don'twant to see him at the piano. I think another stand there and sing it straight moment could destroy. And maybe I'm cheating on the disco theme, but dammit,I still say the What's Happening episode with the Doobie Brothers in it was that show's finest hour and that show was the 70's for me so see how it fits? Ofcourse you do!
If You Could Read My Mind - This song is so trippy. Why were songs in the 70's so insane? Was it all the coke and the fucking? Nah, that's always been around in the world of music. I think people were maybe just a little bit crazy, noodles. Anyway, love this song - both the original and the disco meets techno remake that came out in the early 00's. I'd actually love to see Kris do that version and flip the script on the theme.
Anoop Desai
As I said in my last post, kittens, I am so afraid for Anoop. He has to be very, very careful here because Disco is a harsh mistress. As much as I love this sexy, south Asian geek kid, my train wreck alarm is going off. That said, there are songs, even up tempo songs, that I think he could do quite well with.
Best of My Love - Noodles, you all know my feelings about the bitch song, no? But, but darlings, this song is not really a bitch song. Take it down a couple of octaves and you'll see that it's a gender neutral dance classic with a groove that cannot be denied. Anoop could do that R&B mack thing that he's been longing to do but hasn't been able to because he seems to always be aping his betters. This would be an unexpected and daring choice for him, and I've been wanting him to take on a female song that could be butched up for a while now. He'll never choose this, but don't you wish that he would?
The First, the Last, My Everything - No, I'm not joking. Chris Tucker did a wonderful job with it in Rush Hour and that was in jest. There's no way that Anoop can give a copycat performance with this song because nobody has a voice like Barry's. This could be fun. And of course, it could also be horribly,tragically wrong, but no guts, no glory, right darlings?
On Broadway - A stool, a guitar player and a spotlight. That's all he needs plus his gorgeous voice, to finally, finally have his Idol "moment" with this song. Don't quit til you're a star, Anouk.
Lil Rounds
Much like Motown Week, Disco Night is tailor made for her and her voice. Much like Motown Week, Lil will find a boring way to screw her chance all to hell. I tire of this one. If I cared at all, here's what I'd suggest that she sing:
Shame - Great song, not a belter's song at all and thus perfect for her. Also apt as this is exactly what she should be feeling after weeks and weeks of lackluster performances.
The Boss - Diana is living proof of the heights of fabulosity that can be reached by a diva with only an OK voice. Of course, Lil doesn't have one iota of Ms. Ross' charisma and star quality, and the Idols have already proven to be not quite up to the task of taking on the supreme Supreme. But if Lil had theballs, she could turn this song out and kick some serious ass. Maybe even make me forget the nightmare that was Chris Richardson bleating this song in S6. When will the lambs stop screaming, y'all?
Young Hearts, Run Free - This song in the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo + Juliet was amazing. You know what, noodles? I changed my mind. I don't want Lil to even get a whiff of this song. My memories of Harold Perrineau in a white sequined halter and mini combo and white afro wig are too pristine.
Never Knew Love Like This Before - So, Stephanie Mills is, in fact, a belter par excellence. But, this song is one of her more restrained. I think Lil would rock this joint. It might be finally, finally in the right key for her. What? Bye bye, pitchy Lil. A girl can dream, can't she?
Danny Gokey
Frikkin' Gokey is still here and there's no way he won't last out the week. Sigh. He's gonna be cheesy as all get out, trust, so he might as well go all the way.
I love Music - Cheese
Blame It On the Boogie - On
Working My Way Back to You - Toast
Matt Giraud
He has everything that it takes to actually do pretty well with this theme, which has me scared for both Anoop and Allison. Kittens, I have a great sense of foreboding. I think this fool might actually turn it out this week and cash in on the judges' wholly unearned gift of a save last week. And if he takes out any of my top 4, I will drive to that CBS studio, burn it down and salt the earth. Or, you know, just write a nasty blog post about how much I hate him. Same diff. He could do very well with any of these:
September - He can be funkdafied when he wants to be, and this is the kind of song where the goat voice and the vibrato could actually work in his favor. Dammit.
Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough - What if he did this Timberlake style? Picture it, a little falsetto, a little vest/tie/fedora, a little goatee. This couldbe fire for him. Double dammit.
Gimme the Night - Not as well known as some other disco cuts but just as potently funky. This is a sexy, sexy groove. He could start out tickling the ivories and then just break it the hell on down. He might get back to the sexy Matt that peeked out that one time, remember, kittens? Double dog dammit.
Be afraid.
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Hell, your song choices are far superior than mine. I think I got lazy because I wasn't looking deep enough into the disco catalog and didn't bother looking at any lists this time around. You've certainly done your homework Kat!
ReplyDeleteL-O-V-E the idea of Kris doing What a Fool Believes, but I am not sure its disco (?). When I was thinkin September for him it was because I thought it would be a nice one in the same vein as his Remember the Time. Though I could totally see Matt owning it *biting nails*.
I do agree Matt is a serious threat to some of our beloveds and I was a bit peeved at the save for that very reason. He could very well bring it hard tonight. Aw man, Gimme the Night? That song is sooo effin' boss.
Also, I found a post at MJ's blog that said this dude Chris Walden twittered he had arranged Anoop's song for tonight. It's the same guy who arranged Lil's The Rose last week. Eep! Another spoiler on that site says he's doing Donna Summer's "Dim All the Lights. It sounds like a pretty smart choice so if it's true he just might pull it out. Doing a lady song that starts slow and then goes uptempo allows him at least one portion to do his melty balladeering and there's the glory note potential. Still quaking in my boots about it though.
It puts the kibosh on the stripped down acoustic hope that any of us had for him this week. I just hope it isn't a curse like it was for Lil. In fact, knowing that someone did some arranging for him hopefully means he did something cool and different to a song and perhaps has something grandiose in store. Go big or go home sexygeek!!!!!