Darlings, I've been hanging out with the 'Quils, Day and Ny, trying my darnedest to recover from the H1N1, so perhaps I'm a tad bit cranky and emotional. Yes, more than usual. But I swear it's not just the fever from the Swine Flu forcing me to confess to you, kiddies, that I'm worried about our little show. It's Vegas Week. It's pre-top 20 mania. Miss Debbie Allen is in the house giving the concern eyebrows. Shankdaddy is there being the fabulous queen bitch that he is. Mia has her chief gremlin acolyte, Tasty, by her side to be her own personal amen chorus. And Cat has hundreds of sleep deprived, over worked and under fed dancers who wake up every morning halfway to total melt down while they are scratching to compete on the one venue that tosses gypsies a crumb from the fame feast table where no talent poplets and reality TV "stars" gorge themselves every day; a table those dancers usually just get to sit and stare longingly at while the likes of Jessica Simpson and Brit Brit scooch down to make space for Jon Gosselin after he becomes a foster dad for the balloon boy and starts his new TLC show Three Famewhores and a Baby with that Heene father and Michael Lohan. Where was I? Oh, the show. Yeah. Not even Boomkat could drum up an eyedropper's worth of drama this week. No group dance meltdowns? (Seriously, AI has been on for eleven million years and Ryan still manages to gin a battle from some red weave wearing contestant) No character assassinations of contestants who we actually care about and have a real shot at making the show? (Because that crying boy is no "Danny is arrogant" or "Mia and Lil C vs. Miss Debbie Allen and Mary Brandon Bryant throwdown") No inexplicable bootings of contestants who could flat out turn it out? (Nobody wanted the balder, less attractive Kasprzak on the show. Nope. Nobody) Has it really come to this, noodles? At first, I was ready to chalk it up to show fatigue. Marilyn once accused her fickle fans in song with the devestating refrain of "After you get what you want, you don't want it." And I'll admit, I thought that might apply, no? I always say that given my druthers, I'd watch all AI/SYTYCD all the time. I never want the shows to go on hiatus, but maybe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing? Maybe it wasn't the show? Maybe it was just me? But watching Wednesday's sad, sad excuse for a top 20 primer, I feel confident that it's not me. The show is not giving good show.
Sure, they have me hooked on a few storylines. After all, kittens, I'm only human. How can I not fall in love with Russell the Krumper who is absolutely killing it? But in the very next breath, Unca Nigel tries to sell me on the saga of the untrained street dancer. And this after they showed Russell acknowledging that he has trained in other styles. He can do other styles. He has been preparing for just this occurrence, which is what I think the show would want and want to promote. So why, why go back to the untrained dancer well? Especially when we know it's bullshit? Gah. But anyway, loving on Russell. And obvi, I've fallen for Pauline Mata, she of the golf ball sized ankle. She is amazing. Will they let her through? Hmmm. Well, considering that the girls' ranks are mighty thin when "Not as Good as my Husband" DeLillo passes for a compelling Vegas week story, I'm guessing the answer to that question is a yes. And I think Shankdaddy's tears said it all for all of us about the magnificent Billy Bell. Full stop. But really? We're how many weeks in, and I can't even work up a good head of steam for the coming top 20 reveal.
And after that lies the long, Mia-less season stretched out before us. Noodles, it's almost too much. Losing Paula from AI has almost broken me. I still don't know how I'm going to go on with frikkin' Judge #4 and Ellen. But to lose Mia from SYTYCD? My whole world's been torn asunder. You all know I came close to cutting the her last year, and lord knows some of her work is ridiculously overpraised. Dead. Daddy. Dance. But bitch can choreograph. Even when I don't like it, I respect it. She is challenging for both the audience and the dancers. We all grow from having her push our buttons. The show will be infinitely diminished without her. Add no Mia to the drastically reduced amounts of Wade we got last season, and who do you have left who really pushes the envelope, who brings artistry to the stage in a major way? They let B.Free do two highly controversial pieces last year, but he's not on the same level as Mia and Wade. I love Brian Friedman, but that's just what's true. Tyce has done a couple of truly brilliant contemporary pieces, but even a stopped watch is going to be right twice a day. Tasty can always be counted on to serve up more misses than hits. Sonya is quirky, darlings, but her choreography can definitely be a tad too twee to really go to the emotional depths that even a middling Mia piece can get to. And you all know that I love Paula more than my luggage. And the woman can dance and choreograph. Period. But her whole vibe is so different from Mia's. You can't even compare. I actually would love for the show to land Paula as a choreographer and a guest judge, but she's no Mia substitute. Well, there is no Mia substitute. There's the rub.
Top 20 get revealed this week and I'm kind of paralyzed with all the not caring. Maybe once I get over H1N1, I'll get some enthusiasm back? It's got to get better, noodles. It can scarce get worse.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment